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Day 87:mile 1613.8-1632.5

I looked out my tent at the lake and what do you know, a couple of otters were out taking a swim. …at least that’s what they looked like to me. How cool! Apparently my side of the lake was not desirable, so I couldn’t snap a photo. For being such a small lake, there’s a lot of life going on. The fish were jumping like crazy and there were little newts along the shoreline.

Once I got moving the going was slow. Between getting frustrated with my phone showing I had two full bars of LTE service, but unable to make a blogpost (sounds ridiculous now that I write it), the unexpected snow, and the uphill, I was not making the miles I wanted too. At least it was absolutely gorgeous in every direction. 

I finally reached some downhill I decided it was time for a nice little jog. I figured I made up for at least some time, so I checked my GPS to see how far I’d come for the day, only 5.5 miles, what!? I guessed 7 and I thought I was low-balling. That was pretty defeating. I then proceeded to get into my head for the next few miles. 

Finding motivation every day has been a roller coaster for the past few weeks. Some days are great and I fly through them with ease. However, lately there have been more days than not it was a challenge to make my normal miles. Not a physical challenge, a mental one. At this point my body is kind of a machine, fully capable of 20+ miles per day. My mind however has is not as consistent. Some days I just want to sit at a beautiful spot and take it in, relax and not go anywhere, but I can’t. I have X amount of food to get to the next stop, and that means making miles. I’m also now feeling the pressures of a time crunch. With the snow slowing me down so much I have too many miles left and not enough time to make them. Sometimes I’m envious of day and weekend hikers, they can stop and enjoy for as long as they want, no schedule for them. 

So I let thoughts like that swirl around in my head and bring my day down. It’s debilitating. However, today, after a few miles I ended up turning things around and having an awesome day, even making it a few miles more than planned! What’s my answer? Again it was music. The answer is almost always music right? It was a great way to distract my mind from being able to have those thoughts because I was too busy singing.

The reason I share this is because it’s not always easy out here, and I don’t feel like that part is shown or talked about enough. Most of the time it’s pretty pictures and big smiles. Every single day I am thankful and grateful I get to have this experience, but it doesn’t mean every days is all rainbows and butterflies (although there are A LOT of butterflies out here 😂). I get frustrated, lonely, sad, angry, I throw myself pity parties, I want to quit, but it all passes. Sometimes I turn a corner and see something beautiful, or pass a sign someone made and it makes me smile and I’m reminded just how lucky I am to be here in this moment, and that’s usually enough at this point. And when it’s not, I think about the burrito I’ll be eating for dinner. 😂 Kidding. …kinda. I’m sure I’ll talk more on this at some point, but for now I just wanted to share a little bit on my struggle out here. 

Goodnight! 

XOXO Becks